Dorrance emboldens his players in his pregame talks, constantly reminding them that UNC's mission is not 
just to defeat its opponents, but to relentlessly sap their will until they can seize on an opportunity to "break" them. Concluding his remarks before a game against Villanova during the 2003 season, he said, "My thrill during our games is the understanding that every team that leaves the field against us knows they were beaten by a greater force. No, not a better team. They ran into a force. They found the center of our chest and it was hard and they couldn't knock us down. So when you're tackling out there today, I want you to throw your body at the girl with such a clattering of bones and gristle that she'll be worried about having a scar from her kneecap to her ankle. I want her wondering, "If I finish this game, will I ever be able to wear a skirt again?"
This book is a great read, full of stories from a man who has many great ones to tell. Whether or not you buy into his coaching philosophy or system you will enjoy this book.
6 Stars out of 5
Roses
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:36PM - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Here is my secret. It's quite simple; One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
Anything essential is invisible to the eyes," the Little Prince repeated, in order to remember.
"It's the time you've spent on your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It's the time I've spent on my rose . . .," the Little Prince repeated, in order to remember.
"People have forgotten this truth," the fox said. "But you mustn't forget it. You become responsible forever for what you've nurtured. You're responsible for your rose . . ."
"I'm responsible for my rose . . .," the Little Prince repeated, in order to remember.
Pg 3 The Man Watching
Final Four Pre Game Speech
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:38PM Allllrightthen, here we go. I'll tell you, I loved last year's Final Four because of the position we were in. I loved coming in as an underdog. Guess what? I think the same thing is happening again at this Final Four. In the press conference yesterday all the questions I got this year were about how well Portland is playing and about how we're struggling. well, I can play that tune. I went right along with them. But I was thinking that if you people had seen the second half of our quarter-final game against Penn State, you pinheads!, you'd have known that we out shot them 9-1. Where the hell have you been? I didn't deliver any of that to the media because I know what we can do, and if right now they have written us off, then I want to show everyone what this team can do out there on the field tonight because I tell you, when you guys play your best you are devastating. You are frigging inspirational. You play through your hearts with extraordinary passion, and our opponents know that if they don't bring it, you guys are going to humiliate them.
In the press conference I thought one of Portland's players talked about their confidence with a little too much confidence. You know what I mean? They think they're on a roll and they think that we're collapsing. They think we're toast. They think they can grind it out. Let them try to grind it out with us for ninety minutes. We are professional grinders. Everybody's talking about all of their great players, but do they have our personalities all of the field? I don't think so. I think we have great weapons and we need to bring them to bear. We have something to prove. The media doesn't think we're going to play. Portland doesn't think we're going to play. I think we're going to play: Are you with me?
Pg 3 The Man Watching
Senior Letters
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:39PM He knows that he's only got a moment with these letters, and that this could be his last chance to make sure each senior knows how much he cares about them. He wants each young woman to know that even though he has spent four years telling her this isn't good enough, that isn't good enough, she isn't good enough, that what he's been secretly searching for all along is what really is good enough in her. When he recounts a personal story or two about her that she'd never expect him to remember, he wants her to know what he thinks is her finest quality- and this is never a soccer quality, but a human quality- because he believes that's what his women appreciate most. When he reads the copies of the senior letters to the underclassmen left behind in the locker room, he wants his admiration to resonate. As he shares the words he has written to each senior, no matter how large or small her role on the team, Dorrance wants everyone inside that room to be in awe of her.
We're all familiar with our tradition here, and part of it is that I get to share my memories of the kids we're going to lose. These are the letters I wrote to our senior reserves. It's always hard. Obviously you guys think you've got all the time in the world. You think you're going to be in college forever. At least that's what I thought when I was there. Then all of a sudden it's gone and we'll never play with these kids again.
Pg 5 The Man Watching
Do Everything You Can
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:40PM Let me tell you this. I'm watching practice yesterday and we're wrapping it up, doing our set pieces at the end, and I'm watching Catherine Reddick practice free kicks. All season she's so afraid to hit anyone in the wall that most of her shots are skying over the crossbar or going wide. Well, Catherine knows now that it's time to go after it. All of a sudden she smacks one, and it almost tore a couple of ribs off Johanna. I wanted to set Johanna free so I said, "All right Johanna, that's it. You're outta the wall." And she didn't move. She didn't move. It looked like a tear started to well up in Jo's eye, and I know she was in pain. But I was wondering, what was she in pain from? That the ball hit her? Or that this was all she could do to help us win, and she did not feel complete or satisfied, and would anyone even notice or care? So remember this. When you're out there tonight playing out the last minutes of someone else's career, don't waste a second. Don't avoid a physical risk. Don't not make a run. Don't dishonor the wonderful nobility of the reserves you are playing before. You will never eliminate the quite pain they are all suffering, but you will make it a bit more bearable, and if you are truly valiant it might even feel inside that all of their sacrifice is worthwhile.
All right. Here we go.
Pg 7 The Man Watching
Life
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:43PM Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
-Helen Keller
Pg 9 The Man Watching
There's No Way I'm Dying!
Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 04:43PM Anson relished the fact that when his ROTC instructors returned tests, they were not graded with the customary A, B, C, D, or F, but instead either "Alive" or "Dead." Anson always graded out "Alive," and he enjoyed mocking the cadets who had perished.
During one war games drill, Anson and other underclassmen in his unit were scripted to be killed by the junior and seniors, but Anson refused and ran off into the hills, much to the chagrin of his superior officers. "I wasn't a very cooperative soldier," Anson says. "I told them, 'There's no fucking way I'm going to die. I'm an expert in guerilla warfare. There's no way any of those guys is frying my ass. I'm immortal.'"
Cadet Dorrance was court-martialed for not dying.
Pg 19 The Man Watching
Life Is Change
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:00PM Life is change. Growth is optional.
-Karen Kaiser Clark
Pg 21
Never Work A Day In Your Life
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:01PM Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.
-Confucius
Pg 37 The Man Watching
Moral Is A Lot Better When We Win
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:06PM Ward envisioned Rainbow Soccer as a communal experience. There were no tryouts. Some teams did yoga as a warmup. Games were supposed to be more for the fun than competition, so scores were only loosely monitored. No team won-loss records were kept. Dorrance ignored Ward's vision and trained his team to win. He kept the game score in his head. He tracked his own won-loss record. One day Dorrance drove to a predominantly African-American neighborhood in town, recruited the best four black athletes he could find in the local park, and paid their league fees. He placed his new players up the middle as his center back, center half, and two inside forwards, and the team jelled. "Some of the other Rainbow coaches and parents told me I was taking the game too seriously," Dorrance says, "I told them, 'If winning doesn't matter to you, that's fine. But we've discovered our morale's a lot better when we win.' They didn't like that we buried everyone."
Pg 42-43 The Man Watching
Ask Why Not?
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:08PM You see things and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were and I say, "Why not?"
Pg 47 The Man Watching
Advice For Coaching
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:26PM Dear Anson,
I'm compelled as an interfering parent to offer you some advice concerning your coaching.
1. You're the youngest major university soccer head coach in the U.S. That fact must have been a source of concern to the coaches in the A.C.C., as youth today seems to be riding the crest of the wave of success. Playing UNC this year, those coaches must have been surprised to be playing a suddenly inexperienced Dr. Allen rather than an experienced Anson Dorance. Moral-Be yourself.
2. You have one thing going for you that none of your competing coaches has- recent game experience and demonstratively peak skills. These things should be the basis of what and how you should teach. Other coaches can teach only from memory and "the book."
3. Sports are a pleasure for the player because of the comradeship developed. You should encourage a close, almost exclusive, feeling within the team by making the team a distinctive unit within the student body. How? The uniform is an obvious unifying symbol on the field. What can you develop that would carry out that important family feeling off the field?
4. Sports need leadership. A leader is not a lonely, distant figure sitting isolated on a bench. You should participate in the game-patting butts, murmuring to players, encouraging the disappointed, vocalizing praise. You won't lose face or encourage familiarity. You'll develop friends and be a part of the team. They'll be playing for your effusive praise.
5. Lastly- think out your game plan. Prepare mentally for the unexpected. What will you do if you're down 3 at the half? Change radically or continue as you were doing? Prepare your team to cope with the unexpected by not allowing anything unexpected to happen. If they have considered the possibility of playing without their best goalie or center half, they won't be surprised if it happens.
With Love and respect,
Dad
Pg 51 The Man Watching
Push
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:27PM Push
The challenge isn't someone else
The challenge is within
It's the aching in your lungs
And the burning in your legs
And the voice that yells can't
But you don't listen
You just push harder
Then you hear a voice whisper can
And you realize the person you thought you were
Is no match for the one you really are
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The One Eyed Man Is King
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:28PM In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
-Michael Apostolius
Pg 57 The Man Watching
The Gift of Fury
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:32PM I want my sons to have the gift of fury. I want them to gobble up the world. Eat life or it'll eat them.
Pg 73 The Man Watching (From the movie The Great Santini)
Use of Video Tape With Women
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:36PM When you make a general criticism of a women's team, every women in the room thinks you're talking about her, so you don't need videotape. I am constantly amazed at how little confidence even my most talented female players have, so if you tell them they did something wrong, they'll believe you. Video makes it worse, because they see how bad they actually were. A woman takes full responsibility for her problems emotionally, and you have to be careful not to destroy her psychologically. I stopped using videotape for the women except to show the positive aspects of their play to try to build their confidence.
Pg 77 The Man Watching
Halftime Talks
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:38PM Men: The greatest halftime talk I've ever given to a men's team was when we were playing against Wake Forest back in the early years when we didn't think they should be able to compete with us. All of a sudden I'm in there at halftime, and it's 0-0, and I'm ticked off. We had done nothing right in the first half, no energy, no technical understanding, no tactical confidence, no leadership. It was an absolute disaster. What's critical when you're upset with a team is that they can sense it. So I come in, and I'm pacing back and forth like this caged tiger. But the trouble with men is that they're not terribly sensitive, so it takes awhile for them to gather that I"m upset. Eventually it quiets down, and when I can hear a pin drop, that's when I turn to face them. I didn't know what to say, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a waste-paper basket, so I sprinted over there, and with my right instep I drove that sucker through a window and I stormed out. Let me tell you something about human evolution. That spoke volumes to the men in the room. In the second half everything changed. All of a sudden, we had great energy, tactics, shape, and the game totally turned around and we destroyed them.
Women: If you kick a trash can in front of the women, they think you're a frigging idiot. And, if you think about it, you are. This is how a halftime talk has to work for women. If they've played poorly you still come storming in like a caged tiger, but because these are women they can sense immediately that you're upset. The critical thing is tone. You turn to face them and you calmly say, "Well, what do you think?" Now you can hear a chorus of self-flagellation as every woman in the room is taking full responsibility for the disaster that is taking place. Even the bench players are saying they haven't been cheering hard enough. I haven't said criticized anybody, and I don't need to because they're their own worst critics. Then you start to impart some wisdom and you say, "You know the girl who scored five goals in the first half? Hey, why don't we mark her?" Now they think you're a coaching genius. You haven't criticized them at all, you've just reconstructed them a bit, and now when the halftime talk ends they are willing to die for you because all you've done is support them."
Pg 77 The Man Watching
On Line Up Changes
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:39PM Men: When you bench a guy from the starting lineup of a men's team, the other guys say, "Sounds good. Bobby'll be ok."
Women: Women are easier to coach than men because they listen to criticism, but they're difficult to manage because most are sensitive to slights, and their bond is stronger than on a men's team. Therefore, when you bench a femail player, her teammates feel empathy. They experience a debilitating catharsis towards that player and it affects them, whether the benched girl gives a damn or not.
Pg 78 The Man Watching
Not A Greater Team, But A Greater Force
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:40PM UNC's mission is not just to defeat its opponents, but to relentlessly sap their will until they can seize on an opportunity to break them. "My greatest thrill during games is the understanding that every team that leaves the field against us knows they were beaten by a greater force. No, not a better team. They ran into a force. They found the center of our chest and it was hard and they couldn't knock us down. So when you're tackling out there today, I want you to throw your body at the girl with such a clattering of bones and gristle that she'll be worried about having a scar from her kneecap to her ankle. I want her wondering, 'If I finish this game, will I ever be able to wear a skirt again?'"
Pg 103 The Man Watching
"The Man Watching"
Friday, May 11, 2007 at 01:41PM By Rainer Maria Rilke:
I can tell by the way the trees beat, after
So many dull days, on my worried windowpanes
that a storm is coming.
and I hear the far-off fields say things
I can't bear without a friend,
I can't love without a sister.
The storm, the shifter of shapes, drives on
across the woods and across time,
and the world looks as if it had no age:
the landscape, like a line in the psalm book,
is seriousness and weight and eternity.
What we choose to fight is so tiny!
What fights with us is so great!
If only we would let ourselves be dominated
as things do by some immense storm,
we would become strong too, and not need names.
When we win it's with small things,
and the triumph itself makes us small.
What is extraordinary and eternal
does not want to be bent by us.
I mean the Angel who appeared
to the wrestlers of the Old Testament:
when the wrestler's sinews
grew long like metal strings,
he felt them under his fingers
like chords of deep music.
Whoever was beaten by this Angel
(who often simply declined to fight)
went away proud and strengthened
and great from that harsh hand,
that kneaded him as if to change his shape.
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater beings.
The room falls silent. Some of the young women stare up at Dorrance while some others nervously peek at each other. Dorrance tells his players that the poem epitomizes the UNC program's philosophy that even in the wake of a national championship, there is still room for growth. Keep pushing. Don't quit. Take responsibility. Ascend never-endingly. And if you ever become afraid of failing to become everything you've always dreamed, think about this poem. Dorrance tells them that the way to keep growing is not by winning, but instead by being defeated, decisively, by constantly greater aspirations. The older players, who have heard this poem before, nod in recognition and whisper to the younger ones that they will try to explain it to them later.
There is a simple yet profound lesson that I learned as a teenager from a brilliant algebra teacher that I had in my sophomore year at my boys' boarding school in Switzerland. I didn't realize it at the time, but this math teacher inspired me and has affected the way I've thought for the rest of my life. On the first day of class he said, "I am giving you a homework assignment and I'll give you one day to do it. You will be graded on this assignment and you can select to do it or not. If you select not to do it, don't worry about it. I'm not going to reprimand you. Just make sure that whatever you do in place of the math homework is something you value more than getting an F on the assignment. Please understand that I don't expect you guys to always turn homework in. If you're having a rollicking good time or you think you're doing something that genuinely has greater value to you than a math assignment, please do it. Over the course of the year, you've got a hundred homework assignments, so it's not going to affect your grade that much if you miss one or two.
We thought that teacher was full of it, and we decided to test him and not do our homework. He never reprimanded any of us, never treated any of us differently if we didn't turn something in. And then one day it dawned on me what he was really trying to teach us. It's a tremendous lesson. How you choose to spend your time every day is going to shape who you are.
Whatcha Got?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007 at 02:11PM The kids who play at UNC are going to be severely tested in every area, because we're always essentially asking. Whatcha got? Dorance says. "They're all going to fail at some point, and then we get to see whether that forges their character or shatters it. We have a sink-or-swim philosophy. There aren't any hand-holding pop psychology sessions of singing 'Kumbaya' together. If you're going to roll over and die, this culture is not for you. Join a sorority.
Pg 104