It Is Not A Battle

Children can draw parents into interactions that become Us (the children) against Them (authority figures), not Us against the realistic and logical consequences of rules.  Us against Them becomes a war.  "Getting tougher" can win battles, but it may also teach that winning is the most important goal and that force and power are the ways to win.  Children then learn that, with enough power, they can also win and that this is how the world operates.  If they feel they are losing, they simply apply more power.

-Jaime Raser in his book Raising Children You Can Live With

Pg 30